The Gita's Surprising View of Friendship
We usually think of friendship as something between us and others. The Gita begins somewhere unexpected - with the relationship between you and your own mind. Before one can be a true friend to anyone, Krishna teaches, one must befriend oneself. From this inner friendship grows the capacity to be a suhrid, a selfless well-wisher to all beings, and to recognise the divine friend who never abandons us.
Be Your Own Friend
Krishna's central teaching on friendship appears in chapter 6, verses 5 and 6:
Uddhared atmanatmanam natmanam avasadayet. (BG 6.5)
उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्।
Meaning: Lift yourself by your own self; do not degrade yourself. The self alone is the friend of the self, and the self alone is its enemy. A controlled mind is your best friend; an uncontrolled mind acts as your worst enemy. Self-mastery, not self-criticism, is the door to every other healthy friendship.
Krishna, the Friend of Every Being
The Gita's highest friendship is divine. In chapter 9, verse 29, Krishna says:
Samo'ham sarvabhuteshu na me dveshyo'sti na priyah. (BG 9.29)
Meaning: I am equal toward all beings; none is hateful or dear to me. Yet those who worship me with devotion are in me, and I am in them. Later in 5.29 he calls himself the suhridam sarvabhutanam - the loving friend of all creatures. The divine is the one friend who is always near, asking nothing but our turning toward it.
Becoming a Suhrid to Others
When Krishna describes the dear devotee in chapter 12, he uses the word suhrid - one whose heart wishes good for all. In 12.13 he praises the one who is without hatred, friendly and compassionate to all beings (advesta sarvabhutanam maitrah karuna eva cha). True Gita friendship is not exclusive or possessive; it is a warm, even-handed goodwill that excludes no one and demands nothing in return.
Friendship in Everyday Life
Practically, the Gita asks us to stop being our own harshest critic and speak to ourselves as we would to a struggling friend. With others, it asks for maitri (friendliness) without expectation - helping freely, forgiving easily and wishing well even for those we dislike. Healthy friendships, in this view, are built by people who are at peace with themselves and do not lean on others to fill an inner emptiness.
A Short Practice of Maitri
Try this for a week to strengthen both inner and outer friendship: 1. Each morning, speak one kind, encouraging line to yourself, as you would to a friend. 2. Notice harsh self-talk and gently correct it, recalling 'the self is the friend of the self'. 3. Once a day, do one small unasked kindness for someone, expecting nothing back. 4. At night, silently wish well for one person you find difficult. This quietly turns the mind from enemy to friend, and friendship outward begins to flow on its own.
What People Ask Most
What does the Bhagavad Gita say about friendship?+
The Gita teaches that true friendship begins within - you must befriend your own mind first. It then widens into being a suhrid, a selfless well-wisher of all beings, free of hatred and expectation.
What does 'be your own friend' mean in the Gita?+
In BG 6.5, Krishna says lift yourself by your own self; the self is its own friend or enemy. A controlled, peaceful mind is your best friend, while an undisciplined mind becomes your worst enemy.
Is Krishna a friend to everyone in the Gita?+
Yes. In BG 9.29 Krishna says he is equal to all beings, with none hateful or dear, yet present in those who love him. In 5.29 he calls himself suhridam sarvabhutanam, the friend of all creatures.
What is a suhrid according to the Gita?+
A suhrid is a selfless well-wisher whose heart wishes good for all. In BG 12.13 the dear devotee is described as without hatred, friendly and compassionate to every being, expecting nothing in return.
How is the Gita's idea of friendship different from ours?+
We often see friendship as exclusive and mutual. The Gita sees it as even-handed goodwill that excludes no one and asks nothing back, flowing naturally from a person who is first at peace within.
How can I practise Gita-style friendship daily?+
Speak kindly to yourself, correct harsh self-talk, do one unasked kindness each day expecting nothing, and silently wish well for someone difficult. This befriends the mind and lets outward friendship flow.
About the author
Anjali Mehta · Editor, M.A. Religious Studies
Anjali is the managing editor for Vandnaa and oversees the festival and vrat coverage. She holds an M.A. in Religious Studies and reviews every published article for accuracy, accessibility, and tradition-fidelity.
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